x

i wish i can hide in a place where nobody can find me,
because i am not living my life here,
right now right here.
i can't start all over.

[ the first days of spring ]

The First Days of Spring - A Film By Noah And The Whale from charlie fink on Vimeo.

this is your birthday

這是你的生日。

希望你健康。

希望你的家人和好朋友健康。

希望你的貓咪健康。

希望你買給貓咪的玩具都可以撐久一點。

希望你可以試著早點睡，

臉上痘痘快點不見。

希望你繼續保持房間的整潔。

希望你不要一直亂花錢，

雖然說你都是買自己喜歡的東西，

希望你可以標到那個WDCC的花木蘭。

好吧，總之希望你存點錢。

希望你試著多學習有些責任感。

希望你有耐心些。

希望你多多真心的去關心你身邊的世界，

而不是總漠不關心。

希望你能表達出你真正的想法，

希望你開始能有些話要說。

希望你一直畫圖。

希望你心裡的故事可以茁壯。

希望你繼續創造更多美好的回憶。

希望你成熟。

希望你多看點書。

希望你多聽進去一點你BFF的意見。

希望你騎機車的時候小心一點。

希望你少聽一點悲傷的歌。

希望你能開始明白愛不是那麼簡單的東西。

希望你瞭解這生活不是一個童話故事。

希望你能學會怎麼去放手。

希望你總是記得平凡的快樂。

希望你不要遺忘初衷。

希望你帶著一顆受過傷的心，還是可以重新開始。

希望你不要去擔憂做過的決定，心碎一點點沒有關係。

希望你不要後悔自己曾經的努力和付出。

希望你知道你愛過也被愛過。

希望你不需要誰來給你肯定誰來給你答案。

希望是你把你自己拯救。

希望你不要再難過。

希望你有一天可以被明白，被記得，也被想念。

希望你繼續相信。

希望你一直保持你純純的容顏。

希望你臉上永遠有那天一樣的笑容。

you make my dream come true

新床單，新書架，新的空氣清淨機濾紙，我想最後還是要說一些感謝的話。

好像又能重新開始感覺到很平凡的感覺，因為一切終於結束了。

可是如果不是因為那樣，我也不會擁有很美好的回憶。

我不會再抱怨了，改變不了的事情，結果都是出自於自己的選擇。

我的確是那樣啊，但是每一個人都只是在承受自己所能承受的而已。

哈哈哈然後我瞭解了你的哲學，要跟著生活的節奏走，go with the flow.

然後我明白了，享受生命帶給你的一切驚喜和考驗，時間會證明和解釋一切。

最終，生命沒有把我們湊在一起，什麼都沒有。

YEAH I GOT IT. LIFE DOESN'T LEAD ME TO YOU OR LEAD YOU TO ME.

原來還是可以放下來的，誰想得到？

and by the way happy birthday to me

長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 5

於是軍隊再度地出發了，一路上黃沙滾滾來到了南方。
貴妃被處死的消息傳來，讓皇帝悲痛欲絕。
念念不忘心愛的貴妃和曾經快樂的時光，
儘管南方山巒的景色再美，月色再皎潔
也似乎都像籠罩在一片哀傷之中。

不久後，戰事漸漸被平息了。
皇帝一行人和軍隊返回京城。
就在那個貴妃被脫離處死的山坡上，
如今卻空無一物。

再也見不到歌舞昇平那時美麗的身影，
只有夕陽的餘暉紅的像是灑在山坡上的血。

Once again the army set off,
along with the yellow sand rolling in the wind they arrived the south.
the emperor heard about that his dearest princess has been executed,
couldn't seem to forget the happy time together,
no matter how beautiful the scenery were
in his eyes he only saw gray color and sorrow.

Shortly after,the war was put down gradually.
they went back to the palace
on the way back
they passed the hillside
where the princess and the emperor were forced to be parted
but could see nothing there.

There was her beautiful shadow and smile no more
only the ray of sunset.
the color was so red that
it looked like her blood was sprinked on the lonely hillside.
(to be continue.)


寬螢幕桌布 widescreen wallpaper 1600*900

just words

been there and done that
but i miss you most.

( in WONDERLAND )

今天郵差叔叔準時的送來了從日本的包裹，在客廳一邊看著夏卡爾大部頭書耐心等待著的我興奮地接過年度最佳購物（哈哈）..... Tove Jansson所畫插圖的愛麗絲夢遊仙境！ 我一開始以為Janson除了moomina 姆米書系外就是成人小說，完全沒想到居然她也畫過許多本書的插圖！一直到最近的一本Tove Jansson Rediscovered 裡頭有一篇分析這本1966年出版的Alice，我才知道原來還有這麼驚人的作品！ 我馬上上網找到了書裡面全部的插畫，請務必到以下網站一遊，裡面還有Jansson幫哈比人歷險記的珍貴插畫歐！

http://www.zepe.de/tjillu/alice/index.html

這樣一本夢幻的書，已經絕版四十多年，在amazon上有人開價兩百美金一本！不過我更努力的搜尋，bingo！也只有超愛Tove Jansson的日本能挖出這樣的寶藏再重新出版。書衣上的標題是，我要保護的愛麗絲。四十年來首次公開，朵貝楊笙 夢幻的愛麗絲。值得一提的是，這並不是一本繪本歐，而是Lewis Carroll的原著翻譯，再搭上整本的插圖，能夠收集到真的是一個美夢成真啊：D

i am soooo excited today because i got my copy of Alice in wonderland which is the one that illustrated by Tove Jansson!
this book was long gone since it's first released in 1966,i just learned about it though the book "Tove Jansson Rediscovered" . And i was very surprised that Japan rereleased it in 2006! so needless to say i ordered it right away and it came in the mail this morning ! such a dream book to me and it is like a dream come true :) i am very very happy now :)

雖然我看不懂日文，不過最近也剛好讀完英文版的原著，（剛好tim burton電影也快上映了，三月真是一個alice之月。）我真的很推薦Barnes&Noble 的這個版本，完整的兩版原著和插圖之外，還有很多額外的作者生平，評論，延伸閱讀，整本書的精裝的質感非常好，更重要的是價格卻非常便宜。讀了原著才發現迪士尼是怎麼改編的，原著的英文也相當輕易近人和有意思。仔細想想大家都知道愛麗絲夢遊仙境，但是現在這個年代有誰真正好好把原著讀過一次呢？

Tove Jansson's version is in japanese which i don't understand. but i happened to be reading the original book lately! i really recommend this Barnes&Noble edition,i am sure this is the best version of the original books now .especially with a very very good price. i have finished this book the other day and i was very surprised the language is really easy and witty! think about it,nowadays everybody knows about Alice In Wonderland especially because of Tim Burton's film is going to be released soon,but have you really read Alice In Wonderland for once?

長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 4

北方忽然傳來戰亂的消息，
原來是有人趁著宮廷歌舞狂歡的時候，
悄悄地展開叛變。
戰禍漸漸波及京城皇宮，讓許多無辜的人犧牲了。
措手不及的皇帝和貴妃便在成千上萬的護衛之下
前往南方避難。

開始有人說：
「那位美麗的貴妃一定是一個妖精，
轉世而來迷惑皇帝，造成國家衰敗的。
這一切的罪過都要怪給她。」

離開皇宮一段路之後，
軍隊和人民都停下來不願繼續前進了，
他們只要求要懲處禍首。
皇帝無可奈何，只好眼睜睜看著心愛的妃子在眼前被拉走。
流下了心痛的眼淚。
Suddenly came the news of war from the north,
Some people took advantage of the carnival time in the palace
and quietly launched their mutiny.
The war gradually spread to the palace and many innocent people died.
Being caught off guard,
the emperor and the princess were protected by the army,
they went south to take refuge.

Some started to spread the words:
“That princess must be a witch!
Born on this world to bewitch our son of dragon
and cause the fallen of our nation.
We must blame her for everything.”

Away from the palace,
The whole army stopped and was not willing to keep moving forward anymore.
They asked to punish the princess that they thought was an evil spirit.
The emperor was helpless but there was nothing he could do.
So he watched her beloved princess dragged away in front of him,
He shed the tear of heartache.

( to be continue.)

寬螢幕桌布 widescreen wallpaper ( 1600* 900)

( a summer deja vu )

“It’s funny about love,” Sophia said. “The more you love someone, the less he likes you back.”
"愛有時候很奇怪，"蘇菲亞說。"你有時候越愛一個人，他反而離得你更遠。"
“That’s very true,” Grandmother observed. “And so what do you do?”
"這倒是真的，" 奶奶說。"那妳怎麼辦吶？"
“You go on loving,” said Sophia threateningly. “You love harder and harder.”
"只好繼續愛下去，" 蘇菲亞不甘示弱地說著。" 妳要更用力地越愛越多。"

Her grandmother signed and said nothing.

奶奶只是嘆了口氣，沒有再說下去。

from "The Summer Book" by Tove Jansson

雖然現在天氣很冷，不過試著想像一下：這是一個寧靜的夏天午後，有風，但是空氣中還是有一點點些微的悶熱，不過那微小的程度幾乎到你察覺不出來。你感覺你來過這個地方，但是又不能確定。不過唯一能夠肯定的是，你現在很明白你存在在這個世界上，這個世界上有著什麼東西是你在忽的，你是被愛著的，因而你能感到安心。

這就是我看完the summerbook這本書之後的感覺，或可以說是唯一的感想了。我沒有完全的明白它，這是一個夏天裡頭，老奶奶和六歲的蘇菲亞（還有在一直在畫外的爸爸）在一個島上的生活，但是其實什麼故事情節也沒發生，不過其實所有的事情都正在發生。晨泳，為愛而死的水鳥，建造一個迷你的威尼斯，寫一本關於蚯蚓的書，養一隻沒有教養的貓咪卻深愛著牠，一個不說話的朋友，謎樣的一件浴袍，睡在帳篷裡的回憶...種種。奇怪的是看這本書的時候，我一直想著，我是否在很久以前有讀過這本書呢？為甚麼這一切都給我一種很熟悉的感覺，而且也許這本書是我讀過最美麗的一本書也不一定。我想我會很快地要再重讀這本書吧。

現在是時候要重讀全部的姆米書系啦。

finished reading The Summer Book. the wired thing is i keep having the thought of "have i read this sometime somewhere already? how come i feel i have seen the sence before?" it's almost like having a deja vu.

i think i will reread this book very soon but now it's time for me to reread all my eight moomin books now :)

( NEW DREAMS )

--- Moomins :
the complete Tove Jansson Moomin Comic Strip

上禮拜收到了我的四本姆米漫畫書，超大尺寸裡頭全都是原版的tove jansson的姆米插畫，像是身處在夢境一般，捨不得一口氣，花了四五天才慢慢把它們讀完，把這套書捧在手上的感想，只有幸福兩個字啊！細細地觀察插畫裡的世界。（六月的時候會出版最後一本歐。）

謝謝妳Tove Jansson，從十歲的我開始就陪伴在我的生命中。在這個春夏秋冬的開著奇妙花朵的山谷，也許對別人是充滿奇想一般的世界，對我來說卻是熟悉不過，姆米托魯，司那夫金，史尼夫全都是我最想念的好朋友，我們終於又在一起了。

當我看到司諾克小姐選美的段落，大笑的不能停，好像心底的憂傷也就到此為止，慢慢的我也開始有了新夢想。

要努力畫圖，寫作，希望我以後創造出來的也能像這樣的完美，那就是我心裡面的終究存在的完美。

要繼續收集Tove Jansson的作品。

然後還要開始存錢，來去芬蘭吧。去看看moomin world裡頭的姆米房子，看看真正啟發Tove Jansson的景色吧。我一定要去。

新年快樂，不知道在那裡讀到新年是一種儀式，不一定是跨越反而更是歸零。有時候我們是不是一直只想著往前衝，受傷跌倒也沒關係，一直到自己迷失到連方向都不知道在哪裡？那就回到原點吧。去把你當初最喜歡，一直最喜歡的找出來。今天可以是你從新開始的一天了，你還要學習很多人生的課題，你沒完成的還有好多。用一種新的眼光看自己，用一種新的勇氣去喜歡自己。因為那是你的人生，那是你的世界不是別人的。

got my four new moomin books last Sunday,i was sooooo surprised by their over sized! overload with Tove Jansson's original illustrations,it's a dream come true for me to own these books,i feel like living in a dream while reading them during the week! there's nothing better than these,they are the best treasures ever!

thank you Tove Jansson,for being a part in my life since i was the age of ten.when i read about Snorkmaiden joins a beauty competition i laughed so hard and couldn't stop,i can't even remember when is the last time i had a laugh like that. finally my sorrow had came to an end and i feel i can deal with the rest from now on since i have all my old friends from moomin valley back.

and i have new dreams now. i want to create something so wonderful and perfect too. who said ( me?) perfection doesn't exist? Tove's work of art is perfect. i want to draw and write more,to have something i can be proud of too.

and i want to collect more of Tove's books and more ,i want to start to save money to have a trip to Finland,to see the moomin world,and the place that inspired my favorite artist. i have to go,i want to make my dreams come true.

happy chinese new year. maybe for once we don't have to move forward. how about going to the basic place and rediscover some of your strength,since we must lost it somewhere while we were bravely pursuing the so called dreams and love ? finally today is the day for you to start all over.there's still so much to learn ,so much task for you to finish. try to look at yourself in a new way,to love yourself. for it is your own world and no one else's.