"我們不要傷心了。"

Tomorrow morning i will go to a new place to work, if everything is going well,i might get the job on Wednesday.Then i am going to tell myself that the bad days are offcially over,if i don't i will still feel okay because i know things are starting to get well and more chances and changes will still keep coming.

wish me luck!

i am not that boy.

" 他的話像是唱片跳針一樣斷斷續續，說不清楚，其實內心就只是不停地在哭泣，不停不停地在哭泣。"

lonely

there is a criket beeping outside my window.

a summer night.

lately i really have a very creative mind.

thanks to my very best friend.

i suddenly realize i always have the best stories around me,inside me.

i hope i can keep this in mind and keep going.

an almost nightmare like year,it is coming to an end finally.

( and i have no one else to blame but myself )

soon i can put myself together

soon i can wish you well

and hope

someone else has healed you and you can love again.

and someone will call you babe.

and love you as much as i can ,more than i can.

i really really wish that.

about the things that i can't overcome or comfort,

i am trying to learn and understand.

forgive me for doing the things i did.

on a night like this,i am not feeling lonley when my kitty is around.

oiyoor

i have to get up in less than 6 hours,
still i think i should write some words to show my improvement now.
( from keeping hiding myself and those kind of things.)
then let's say something nice about you.
since this is still a day when i thought i was better and over it
then right at that moment
i thought of you again.

thank you for being such a kind person.
thank you for giving me the special gift.
thank you for almost making my dream come true.
almost is very good,even if almost doesn't count.
almost friends are not friends.
almost lovers are not lovers.
almost there,we are still not there.
oiyooor.

but still,thank you very much
i am going to keep my words and love you forever.

sailing

i was thinking maybe i could finish my novels ( those are some reread-books anyway.) tonight,but then i end of spending whole 3 hours watching the videos from "A New Brain" ( the musical i have always loved ) on youtube. i have always loved the song "I rather go sailing",if i could be on one musical,it will be this one and i want to play Gordon's boyfriend Roger so i can sing this song. How nice for Roger to love Gordon this way,and you know how it feels you could just die in one's arms. ( noooo,Gordon lives ) And right now i am repeating Hikki's "Prisoner Of Love" so i can hear the line "STAY WITH ME...STAY WITH ME...". A random thought : i always think if i want to write a diary or a note or something,i have to have a picture to go with it,it is better done by me,less better with a picture i took ( i don't have a camera anymore ),and it is the worst if i post something from the Internet. that is the reason i write so seldom. but i just found out that why not just draw a picture in 5 mins,it is not that hard,though i always tell myself it is very hard .
i wish you can understand this,that's why i am writing in english. i still can't go to bed at a time like this. i don't know how to.

run

你把煩惱試著開成一個玩笑

祈禱它就這樣變成一朵花

然後有一天可以張大嘴巴把它吃下去

反正說出來的話也反悔不得。

給點勇氣去奔跑吧，

如果跨越不過就要被壓扁了

生命本來就沒有起點也沒有終點的那樣一刻

無時無刻都要咬著牙邁開腳步唱著歌

不是說要復原就復原

也不是要出發就出發的

只是在某個當下領悟到自己已經不是自己想成為的自己

自己是自己想改變的自己

仔細想想，

我們都是活下來的那一個

話說，不管你怎樣的灑脫和留給我這一切

我都是比你會面對這個世界。

親愛的，當你這樣說的時候

我知道你一定很想他。

HBJB

x

i wish i can hide in a place where nobody can find me,
because i am not living my life here,
right now right here.
i can't start all over.

[ the first days of spring ]

The First Days of Spring - A Film By Noah And The Whale from charlie fink on Vimeo.

this is your birthday

這是你的生日。

希望你健康。

希望你的家人和好朋友健康。

希望你的貓咪健康。

希望你買給貓咪的玩具都可以撐久一點。

希望你可以試著早點睡，

臉上痘痘快點不見。

希望你繼續保持房間的整潔。

希望你不要一直亂花錢，

雖然說你都是買自己喜歡的東西，

希望你可以標到那個WDCC的花木蘭。

好吧，總之希望你存點錢。

希望你試著多學習有些責任感。

希望你有耐心些。

希望你多多真心的去關心你身邊的世界，

而不是總漠不關心。

希望你能表達出你真正的想法，

希望你開始能有些話要說。

希望你一直畫圖。

希望你心裡的故事可以茁壯。

希望你繼續創造更多美好的回憶。

希望你成熟。

希望你多看點書。

希望你多聽進去一點你BFF的意見。

希望你騎機車的時候小心一點。

希望你少聽一點悲傷的歌。

希望你能開始明白愛不是那麼簡單的東西。

希望你瞭解這生活不是一個童話故事。

希望你能學會怎麼去放手。

希望你總是記得平凡的快樂。

希望你不要遺忘初衷。

希望你帶著一顆受過傷的心，還是可以重新開始。

希望你不要去擔憂做過的決定，心碎一點點沒有關係。

希望你不要後悔自己曾經的努力和付出。

希望你知道你愛過也被愛過。

希望你不需要誰來給你肯定誰來給你答案。

希望是你把你自己拯救。

希望你不要再難過。

希望你有一天可以被明白，被記得，也被想念。

希望你繼續相信。

希望你一直保持你純純的容顏。

希望你臉上永遠有那天一樣的笑容。