長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 4

北方忽然傳來戰亂的消息，
原來是有人趁著宮廷歌舞狂歡的時候，
悄悄地展開叛變。
戰禍漸漸波及京城皇宮，讓許多無辜的人犧牲了。
措手不及的皇帝和貴妃便在成千上萬的護衛之下
前往南方避難。

開始有人說：
「那位美麗的貴妃一定是一個妖精，
轉世而來迷惑皇帝，造成國家衰敗的。
這一切的罪過都要怪給她。」

離開皇宮一段路之後，
軍隊和人民都停下來不願繼續前進了，
他們只要求要懲處禍首。
皇帝無可奈何，只好眼睜睜看著心愛的妃子在眼前被拉走。
流下了心痛的眼淚。
Suddenly came the news of war from the north,
Some people took advantage of the carnival time in the palace
and quietly launched their mutiny.
The war gradually spread to the palace and many innocent people died.
Being caught off guard,
the emperor and the princess were protected by the army,
they went south to take refuge.

Some started to spread the words:
“That princess must be a witch!
Born on this world to bewitch our son of dragon
and cause the fallen of our nation.
We must blame her for everything.”

Away from the palace,
The whole army stopped and was not willing to keep moving forward anymore.
They asked to punish the princess that they thought was an evil spirit.
The emperor was helpless but there was nothing he could do.
So he watched her beloved princess dragged away in front of him,
He shed the tear of heartache.

( to be continue.)

寬螢幕桌布 widescreen wallpaper ( 1600* 900)

( a summer deja vu )

“It’s funny about love,” Sophia said. “The more you love someone, the less he likes you back.”
"愛有時候很奇怪，"蘇菲亞說。"你有時候越愛一個人，他反而離得你更遠。"
“That’s very true,” Grandmother observed. “And so what do you do?”
"這倒是真的，" 奶奶說。"那妳怎麼辦吶？"
“You go on loving,” said Sophia threateningly. “You love harder and harder.”
"只好繼續愛下去，" 蘇菲亞不甘示弱地說著。" 妳要更用力地越愛越多。"

Her grandmother signed and said nothing.

奶奶只是嘆了口氣，沒有再說下去。

from "The Summer Book" by Tove Jansson

雖然現在天氣很冷，不過試著想像一下：這是一個寧靜的夏天午後，有風，但是空氣中還是有一點點些微的悶熱，不過那微小的程度幾乎到你察覺不出來。你感覺你來過這個地方，但是又不能確定。不過唯一能夠肯定的是，你現在很明白你存在在這個世界上，這個世界上有著什麼東西是你在忽的，你是被愛著的，因而你能感到安心。

這就是我看完the summerbook這本書之後的感覺，或可以說是唯一的感想了。我沒有完全的明白它，這是一個夏天裡頭，老奶奶和六歲的蘇菲亞（還有在一直在畫外的爸爸）在一個島上的生活，但是其實什麼故事情節也沒發生，不過其實所有的事情都正在發生。晨泳，為愛而死的水鳥，建造一個迷你的威尼斯，寫一本關於蚯蚓的書，養一隻沒有教養的貓咪卻深愛著牠，一個不說話的朋友，謎樣的一件浴袍，睡在帳篷裡的回憶...種種。奇怪的是看這本書的時候，我一直想著，我是否在很久以前有讀過這本書呢？為甚麼這一切都給我一種很熟悉的感覺，而且也許這本書是我讀過最美麗的一本書也不一定。我想我會很快地要再重讀這本書吧。

現在是時候要重讀全部的姆米書系啦。

finished reading The Summer Book. the wired thing is i keep having the thought of "have i read this sometime somewhere already? how come i feel i have seen the sence before?" it's almost like having a deja vu.

i think i will reread this book very soon but now it's time for me to reread all my eight moomin books now :)

( NEW DREAMS )

--- Moomins :
the complete Tove Jansson Moomin Comic Strip

上禮拜收到了我的四本姆米漫畫書，超大尺寸裡頭全都是原版的tove jansson的姆米插畫，像是身處在夢境一般，捨不得一口氣，花了四五天才慢慢把它們讀完，把這套書捧在手上的感想，只有幸福兩個字啊！細細地觀察插畫裡的世界。（六月的時候會出版最後一本歐。）

謝謝妳Tove Jansson，從十歲的我開始就陪伴在我的生命中。在這個春夏秋冬的開著奇妙花朵的山谷，也許對別人是充滿奇想一般的世界，對我來說卻是熟悉不過，姆米托魯，司那夫金，史尼夫全都是我最想念的好朋友，我們終於又在一起了。

當我看到司諾克小姐選美的段落，大笑的不能停，好像心底的憂傷也就到此為止，慢慢的我也開始有了新夢想。

要努力畫圖，寫作，希望我以後創造出來的也能像這樣的完美，那就是我心裡面的終究存在的完美。

要繼續收集Tove Jansson的作品。

然後還要開始存錢，來去芬蘭吧。去看看moomin world裡頭的姆米房子，看看真正啟發Tove Jansson的景色吧。我一定要去。

新年快樂，不知道在那裡讀到新年是一種儀式，不一定是跨越反而更是歸零。有時候我們是不是一直只想著往前衝，受傷跌倒也沒關係，一直到自己迷失到連方向都不知道在哪裡？那就回到原點吧。去把你當初最喜歡，一直最喜歡的找出來。今天可以是你從新開始的一天了，你還要學習很多人生的課題，你沒完成的還有好多。用一種新的眼光看自己，用一種新的勇氣去喜歡自己。因為那是你的人生，那是你的世界不是別人的。

got my four new moomin books last Sunday,i was sooooo surprised by their over sized! overload with Tove Jansson's original illustrations,it's a dream come true for me to own these books,i feel like living in a dream while reading them during the week! there's nothing better than these,they are the best treasures ever!

thank you Tove Jansson,for being a part in my life since i was the age of ten.when i read about Snorkmaiden joins a beauty competition i laughed so hard and couldn't stop,i can't even remember when is the last time i had a laugh like that. finally my sorrow had came to an end and i feel i can deal with the rest from now on since i have all my old friends from moomin valley back.

and i have new dreams now. i want to create something so wonderful and perfect too. who said ( me?) perfection doesn't exist? Tove's work of art is perfect. i want to draw and write more,to have something i can be proud of too.

and i want to collect more of Tove's books and more ,i want to start to save money to have a trip to Finland,to see the moomin world,and the place that inspired my favorite artist. i have to go,i want to make my dreams come true.

happy chinese new year. maybe for once we don't have to move forward. how about going to the basic place and rediscover some of your strength,since we must lost it somewhere while we were bravely pursuing the so called dreams and love ? finally today is the day for you to start all over.there's still so much to learn ,so much task for you to finish. try to look at yourself in a new way,to love yourself. for it is your own world and no one else's.

( plastic bags )

因為我本來就是一個愛物的人，所以這些年來收集了很多東西。Jeffrey Fulvimari的插畫商品，喜歡的電影的雙碟版dvd，彼得兔的立體書。 又想是因為個性使然，很喜歡東西嶄新的模樣，於是越是心愛的物品越是保護，除了第一次細細觀看的時候，要小心自己的指紋不要留在碟片或書皮上，連呼氣都不敢太大力。最後還要用一個特別去買的塑膠袋套起來封起來。好像是一個神聖儀式一般只有在這個時候才會覺得自己已經擁有這樣物品了，簡直是一個癖。

也因為如此，有好多的書，電影，玩具都在都還保持著如同當天購買一般嶄新的狀況。有時候想到了，拿出來隔著沾著灰塵的塑膠套，其實想要瞧一瞧，但是往往會因為想到要"重新封套"的麻煩，就會想，算了，等等好了。等有一天什麼都準備好了，心情對了房間乾淨的天氣好的閒暇時間有了，我再來好好的享受它們的美妙。

那一天從來都沒有來過。

結果被自己保護的最週到的，反而是最生疏的，還不如擱在架上沒事就會拿出來翻的一本爛雜誌，花在它的時間上一遍又遍。反觀自己最心愛的，其實心中是想要每天都在一起的一次又一次熟悉它的美好，卻因為心想好好保存而被刻意保持距離。有的時候會想到我擁有它，想著它是乾乾淨淨的而我在等待著那一天來到而自我感覺良好。而有的比較不幸的是我還沒好好喜歡它之前，就對它失去興趣了被我忘記了，只好開心因為它的嶄新狀態拿去拍賣還能喊到好價格。

因為最近買很多書，想把這些書重新整理，於是想把以前收集的插畫書等等也一起拿出來可以常常拿出來欣賞研究一番，也不是說我忽然覺得要掙脫什麼或想讓自己不拘小節不要在意書本會泛黃會變舊CD殼會刮到等等，都不是。我就是忽然覺得這些塑膠套好惱人。我連看個想看的書都還要從塑膠套裡拿出來，排在書架上那模樣也醜死了。我就一股腦，把那些塑膠套給全拆了。真覺得這種保持完美的塑膠套真是讓我神經衰弱緊張崩潰，我也該過了有這些堅持的年紀了。不要去找不存在的完美或是深怕自己弄髒弄壞了什麼自己心愛的東西，畢竟我已經擁有它了不是嗎？是要為了那一位下一個擁有者耳提面命自己要好好負起保管的責任呢？它們都是我的，而且因為是我心愛的，我永遠都不想要給別人的啊。

親愛的讀者，你也有塑膠套嗎？把它們撕掉吧。

I am not ashamed to say that actually i am a nerd, all these years i have been collecting the things i like,such as beautiful picture books,two disc special edition DVDs,collectible toys..etc. because i cared about and loved them very much,so i was always very careful with them.usually after every first watch or read,i had to be careful not to leave my fingerprints on the disc or the book cover.and i used a new and shinny plastic bag that i bought to wrap them so i could keep the mint condition. then,i felt i actually "own" this stuff.

As a matter of fact i love them so much that i want to read it everyday and watch it all the time or be with it every moment,but because it is so precious to me i think,ok, well ,i will just save it for a better day when i have a better mood and perfect timing and nice weather then i can truly enjoy it again. so sometimes i enjoy "looking at my stuff though the dusted plastic bag " and imagine the near mint item inside. but to avoid the troubles of getting it out and putting it back in the bag again,i just let them stay there ( i am still waiting for the perfect day to enjoy it anyway.) and feel good about owning them.

But that kind of day never came.

The thing i love and protect so well became the thing i keep distance with. i think i read the lousy magazine that has always been on my shelf a lot more,i actaully rather waste my time on those things i don't really care for than spenting time on the things i want to enjoy over and over again. and i was stopped by what,my own mysophobia or perfectionism or these stupid plastic bags!!? and sometimes it was so sad,i even lost my interests in them while they were also still waiting for the perfect day to be taken out ,the only good thing to think of this is when i auctioned them off they usually sold for a good price because they were still like brand new.

Today when i was organizing my bookshelf , it's not because i finally realize the true meaning to enjoy life or understand how to let go or whatever...i simply just thought these plastic bags were annoying me to no end,so i tear them all and let all my precious collectible books ( some for almost ten years) exposed to the humid air and i put them back to the shelf bare and plan to browse them as much as i can from now on,because i always wanted to do that! i am not going to looking for perfection that doesn't excist anymore. i own them don't i ? i am not keeping it clean and perfect for their next owner,they are mine and will always be mine,because i LOVE my stuff!

Dear reader,do you have those kind of plastic bags like me? get rid of them right now!

my brother is back from the trip to japan today and got me these cool stuffs! ( i collect disney's beauty and the beast stuff ),and NO plastic bags for these,they all go into my big plastic boxes for safty storage. lol

( paper bird )

原本只是一張白紙，

任你去幻想。

做了很多努力讓這一切不是虛幻。

真正地摺出痕跡形狀過，握在手中。

感受過溫度，聽見聲音，

記憶從此有了翅膀，會跳舞，可以翱翔。

才明白 其實不能擁有它

於是想，真正讓它飛翔後，心情一定 一定會很輕鬆吧。

那卻已經是一件出乎意料之外

心中很珍惜的寶貝。

只是當學習要放手時，

最初不在意被紙割傷的小小血痕，

痛也變成真的了

多不想啊，

好希望輕輕地擁抱多一會兒，

想要在它尾巴綁一條細細的線跟著飛。
可是就是因為它已經是真的不再屬於美夢裡的一部分，

也就不能繼續矇騙自己了。

讓它自由吧，

是時候啦 啦啦啦

因為即使重量再輕有如羽毛

拉著它跟著飛也終究會有墜地的時候

那不如期待此刻有風吹過，

祝福它飛得更高 更遠些。

也許遇到雨天會被模糊成一片掉落在路邊

但也許是在某個爽朗的秋會有人撿到它，

說從那裡來的？

那是一隻好漂亮的白色的純潔的鳥。

＊

It was a piece of blank white paper

for you to dream

or do whatever you want

You tried so hard to make it real

folded the shape and put it in your own hands

now you can feel the temperature and hear the sounds

Suddenly all the memories take wings

they dance

they want to fly

Then you realized you can't own it after all

so you said to yourself

"After i set it freei will be really free too."

but unexpectly it has already became

something that you treasure very much.

So when you learn to let go

the pain from the tiny papercut

becomes real

How i wish

to hold it tightly but gently once more

to tie a line on it's tail and trace it

but since it is so real now

it doesn't belong to part of your fantasy anymore

so you can't fool yourself anyhow either.

It's time to set it free la la la

Even it is light as a feather

you will fall after all if you linger

how about making a wish and hoping

there is a wind somewhere

and hope it can fly so much higher and further without you

Maybe it will be ruined by a rainy day and fall on the ground,

or maybe on a fine autumn day

someone catches it and he might say

"Where does this thing come from?

it is such a delicate and innocent paper bird."

the original drawing

Wallpaper bird ( 1024*768)

長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 3

皇帝在他的宮殿中，

擁有的妃子有三千個人那麼多，

他再也不看她們一眼，

因為他的龍心中從此只有貴妃一個了。

皇帝不但打造了一座黃金的臥房給貴妃，

連她的家人也都接來皇宮給予很好的照顧。
那時候，天下做父母的，

都好希望自己生出一個像貴妃這樣的女兒，

可以一起過著榮華富貴的生活啊！

宮殿中，日日夜夜都歌舞昇平。

皇帝與貴妃縱情與享樂和遊玩之中，

時光真是太快樂了。
而貴妃也回報皇帝的寵愛，

癡癡地愛慕著他。

In his palace,

the emperor owned more than three thousand concubines

but he didn't lay his eyes on them anymore

because in his heart there's only one princess now.

Not only building his beloved princess a golden bedroom

he also brought all her family into the palace

and took very good care of them.
At that time,

the parents in the country

all hoped that they could give birth to a girl as beautiful as Princess Yang,

so they could live a luxurious royal life,too!

Every day and night there were singing and dancing,

the emperor and the princess enjoyed their life as a big party,

what a joyful time it was!

For the emperor loving her so much,

the princess also loved him very much in return.

(to be continue)

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長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 2

寒冷的春天裡，

貴妃在溫泉裡潔淨著她雪白的肌膚，

仕女們服侍著她深怕她著涼。

她最喜歡一種南方的珍果，

皇帝知道了，

便讓快馬從遙遠的地方將果子送來，

呈到貴妃手上的時候，

果子新鮮地還沾著清晨未乾的露水哩。

從此大家都知道了，

皇帝是多麼地對這位美麗的新妃子寵愛有加啊！

皇帝視這位貴妃為他最珍貴的寶物，

一刻也不願意離開她，

漸漸地，連國家的事務都不再關心了。

In the coldness of the spring time,

the princess washed her snow white skin in the hot spring,

all the maids were around her just to serve her alone.

The princess had a favorite for one kind of precious fruit called La chi,

the emperor knew about this,

he sent the fastest horse toward the south to collect the fruits,

when they reached to the princess' hands,

some said they can even still see the dew is still on the ruby like fruits!

and everybody knew that how much the emperor spoiled

the new beauty in the palace.

Indeed,

the emperor thought the princess

as his most precious belonging,

he was bewitched by her

and didn't want to leave her side for a moment.

little by little,

the emperor even stop to care about his own empire's business.

(to be continue)

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長恨歌 [ Song Of Endless Sorrow ] Part 1

從前有個皇帝，他一心只想找到最美麗的女孩來當他的妃子。

經過多年的尋找，他卻始終沒能如願找到她。

直到有一天，皇帝終於發現這樣的女孩。
她是來自楊家的女兒。 皇帝深深為她著迷，
於是便把這位美人接入宮中，封她為貴妃。

貴妃的容貌有如一朵潔白的牡丹花，
姿態則像是隨風搖曳著的花瓣。
從此所有的美女在她面前，都只像是野花野草了。

Once upon a time,

there was a emperor who was looking for

the most beautiful girl.
After years of searching, he still couldn't find her.
Until one day, he saw the daughter from the Yang family.

The emperor fell for her deeply right away
So he welcomed her to his palace and made her a princess.

The Princess was so beautiful just like a white peony,
when she moved, she was the petals swinging in the wind,
all the beauties compared to her were no longer beautiful.





(to be continue )
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[ intro for the SONG OF ENDLESS SORROW ] 長恨歌之前

Before i start the illustration posts for "Song Of Endless Sorrow",i thought i might introduce the background of it a little bit. The poem "Song Of Endless Sorrow" was written by the great Chinese poet Ju-Yi Bai (i found a picture of him from google!) in the year 806 ( it was also the Tang Dynasty of China ). Bai once visited a temple with his friends and was inspired by the local tale of the tragic love story between the emperor and the princess ( which was a total real event!) so he wrote this famous masterpiece. ( this story in China is so famous that it can rank with Mulan for sure.)

For this poem is written in extremely beautiful Chinese, i have no intention to translate it into English for sure,(besides it really is behind my ability to do that!) so i decide to rewrite the story based on the poem.(but i will try to keep the original spirit of the story.) so the English story you read here is done by me based on the poem. i think it will be more like a picture book story,for i am not a great English writer. ( as you can tell by now from reading this,i don't even speak perfect English!) but if this series of work inspires you to look for the real original poem,or gives you the interests to learn more about the story or anything,then it will be my pleasure. besides i just started so i have no idea how this will turn out. but for sure i hope i can finish it and i hope you will like it :)

so far i will post about this series in this blog,so be sure to come back and check it out ,it will all be under the tag for "Sorrowsong長恨歌",so if you click it you can see all of them together,because of the blog form,the latest one will be the first post so you have to read it backward if you want to read it from the start. but in the future i might put them in order in another blog or space. enjoy it :)

今天起這裡所刊載的故事並不是來自白居易長恨歌的直接翻譯，而是我根據這首詩寫下的圖畫故事，不過如果能激發你的興趣去多瞭解這首美麗的傑作也會是件很棒的事！目前我先把這個作品發表在這個地方，所以如果想要看到目前的全部，需要點選Sorrowsong長恨歌這個標籤，而順序將會從最新到一開始，我希望以後可以有一個專門的網頁或是另一個空間來放這個作品。對於我們華人來說，楊貴妃的故事耳熟能詳，想把這個故事畫出來已經在我心裡頭醞釀很久，雖然我覺得我自己不見得已經準備好了，但是還是希望可以給自己一個目標試試看。我自己都覺得很期待呢。現在新裡面一直想著要怎麼畫安祿山呢？一定會變得很搞笑吧+_+。

( a little prayer )

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