( 你一定會）you will be what you will be.

好冷，小罵最近很幸福都有毛毯和暖爐。我有時候覺得，我沒有了牠我該怎麼辦呢？牠去年剛來家裡的時候，我就覺得，我有了牠就足夠了我就什麼都不想要了。慢慢地我習慣牠了，我還是愛牠到莫名其妙的地步，但是也開始又會覺得孤單，想要更多。
我們都是這樣會想要越來越多嗎？還是只有我是這樣。我通常都得到我想要的，我其實都很珍惜我得到的。這是我的優點。但是我得不到的時候，我就會難過，不甘心。我並不喜歡這樣子。
要怎麼樣才能知道自己已經是很完整的，我們不需要什麼來讓自己更完整？ 今天很想說一些鼓勵自己的話。
因為你一定會好的，你會找出來什麼是屬於你自己的別人拿不走的，你會找到愛你的，明白你的簡單的，你會感受這世界美好的一面，你會珍惜你得到的愛，有一天你就會幸福的。真高興我現在這個年紀告訴我自己這樣的話時，不同的地方在於我知道這些都不是好聽的話而已，我不會說著這樣空泛的安慰話語然後一直重複自己的錯誤，因為經歷過了你所謂感到痛苦的日子，我會靜靜等待知道平靜的美麗，當我遇見什麼，我會格外的小心維護和努力去讓自己變得更好。
還要再試，還要一直努力。
it's cold. lately Marc is with his heater and blanket all the time. sometimes i think what will i do without him? i remember when he first came home last winter,i felt he is really all i needed and could fill the big hole in me,and then i started to get used to him even i still love him behind words now,still i feel lonely again,i want more.
are we all like this? or it is only me? i usually get what i want and i cherish them. (this is my virtue)but when i don't get what i want.i suffer.i don't like myself being this way.how do we let ourselves know we are already completed with ourselves,and we don't need anything else?

today i feel like saying something to encourage myself,so here i go:
you will become better.and you will find what's in you that no one will take it away from you,you will find someone who will love and understand your simpleness.you will see the beautiful side of this world.you will cherish what you have,and one day you will be very happy.you will be thankful.
i am glad when i tell myself things like this now at this stage in my life,there's a difference because i know there are not just "words". i won't just say all these words and keep making the same mistake over and over again.after been though the pain,i will sit here and wait and to know the beauty of the slience of life.and when i meet something, i will try especially hard to protect it and make myself a better person.
i want to try,i want to keep trying.